My Sweet Pea

Today, I feel the sting from my last miscarriage so strongly.  The second I saw the two pink lines on the pregnancy test, I became a mother.  I instantly felt an indescribable love for my tiny little bean.  My instincts to protect and love and care for my little bean were stronger than any  instincts I have ever felt.  I was attached.  I was in love.  And to lose the child I couldn't meet, but somehow loved is an indescribable and terrible pain to feel.  How do you mourn for the child you never got to meet?

{Angel of my Tears}
How do you love a person
who never got to be,
or try to envision a face
you never got to see?
How do you mourn the death of one
who never got to live.
When there's nothing to feel good about
and nothing to forgive?
I love you, my little baby,
my companion of the night.
Wandering through my lonely hours,
beautiful and bright.
What does it mean to die before
you ever were born,
to live the lovely night of life
and never see the dawn?
Ah! My little baby,
you lived like anyone!
Life's a burst of joy and pain.
And then like yours, it's done.
I love you, my little baby,
just as if you'd lived for years.
No more, no less, I think of you,
the Angel of my tears.
~Author Unknown